Mornings, you are the bane of my existence. Screw you, you dreadful alarm. Eff off 5:47 am wake-up call. Six-ten a.m., the prodding from the ‘puter Hub begins. “Puppy,” he says. I respond like a dying whale with, “Two more minutes,” (like a whopping 120 seconds will really make a difference). At about six-twenty, I painfully stumble to the bathroom to put my eyes in and try to make sense of the mop that’s now morphed into a porcupine-slash-seal pelt atop of my head. Our neighbors should not be exposed to that repulsion in the morning. Six-twenty-four, cue orangutan-like grunting, followed by tears after the corner of the bed goes linebacker on my upper left thigh. Thank you for the permanent black-and-blue tattoo. Whhhyyy, me? Whhhhyyy?
Finally, when the moons are symmetrically aligned, and full equilibrium sets in, D-money takes me for a morning walk. She performs the “poop sniff,” gawks at me with that “Stop looking at me, you trying sh**ing outside” face and then we head back inside for our “treats.” Hers consists of water and dog chow; mine a cup of ‘puter Hub’s glorified, strong-like-bull coffee formula and lumps of brown, moist, hot chocolate zucchini bread. Now, it’s like a Folgers commercial. Serenity now. Namaste.
Zucchini Cocoa Bread
- 2 eggs, beaten
- ½ cup of applesauce
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 zucchini grated (equivalent to about a cup)
- 1 teaspoon of vanilla
- 1½ cups of flour
- ½ teaspoon of baking soda
- ½ teaspoon of baking powder
- ½ teaspoon of salt
- 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
- 1 package of instant hot cocoa (Shh … it’s the secret ingredient.)
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grate the zucchini onto a towel. Wrap up the zucchini in the towel and squeeze out the juices as much as possible. Beat eggs. Add applesauce, sugar, zucchini and vanilla to the eggs. Beat until smooth. Add the dry ingredients and mix well. Pour into a greased loaf pan. Bake for an hour. Heat for 10 seconds in the microwave to serve.
If you’re making two loaves, you probably only need one more egg. You can also freeze the loaves to enjoy when entertaining guests.